


Trypanophobia

by nepenthe_writer



Series: WinterIron Bingo [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Phobias
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 11:12:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19811110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nepenthe_writer/pseuds/nepenthe_writer
Summary: Bucky finds himself faced with an ingrained fear from his days with Hydra





	Trypanophobia

**Author's Note:**

> Square: N4 - Fear of Needles for the WinterIron Bingo

The battle had been a challenging one for the Avengers and even with it over they were still feeling the after effects. Some new up and coming scientist had taken a disliking to animals being kept in captivity and had developed an airborne spray that would make those that came into contact with it grow larger and more sturdy and then used that on multiple enclosures at the Roger Williams Zoo in Rhode Island before being apprehended by local police.

As he was taken off in handcuffs the Avengers had been left with the task of rounding up all of the now three to four times larger and stronger versions of lions, tigers, and bears along with multiple other types of animals and getting them under control and working to return them to their normal state before they caused any damage to the surrounding city.

While the animals hadn’t been inherently violent towards anyone, they were rightly frightened over what had happened to them and were lashing out at any attempts to corral and contain them. Bruce had been in charge of reverse engineering the serum used to change the animals in order to create an antidote to it so that they could hopefully save as many animals as possible without losing their lives or the lives of humans that would be in danger if they got loose among the general public.

By the time the fight was over and the zoo animals returned to their normal size and strength and put back into temporary enclosures while their original habitats were fixed from the stampede that had been wrought when they were first transformed everyone was exhausted. None of the Avengers had escaped unscathed and all of them were more than ready to head back home.

Black Widow had a sprained ankle from leaping out of the way of a giant charging cheetah. Hawkeye had dislocated his left shoulder after being hit from behind by one of the enhanced gibbons. Cap was sporting some bruised ribs after tangling with a boa constrictor. Thor had a black eye from a lucky back kick from a disgruntled camel. Bucky had a few peck marks from the unhappy chickens he had been in charge or corralling together. Iron Man had been the one to take the worst of the damage however.

Since he was the one in a protective suit of armor Tony had been put in charge of keeping the two elephants changed by the serum from escaping the zoo and going on a tour of downtown Providence. While he had been able to hold his own for the most part, one of the elephants had been able to get in a lucky hit with its trunk and brought him down to the ground. It was at this point that both elephants had decided to show their displeasure at the tin can keeping them from getting away from what they now considered to be a dangerous area and proceeded to stomp all over the armor.

Thor and Cap had eventually been able to get over to him to stop the elephants and give Tony a chance to retreat but it wasn’t until after the armor had taken a considerable amount of damage. The chest plate had a huge dent on the left side and the right leg had completely crumpled until it no longer resembled a leg leaving Tony to do his best to hold back his screams from the amount of pain that he was in. It wasn’t until everything was over and Tony was being peeled out of the armor on the quinjet on the way home that they realized just how bad his leg was from being trampled.

“I’ll need an x-ray to confirm just how bad it is but his femur is definitely broken,” Bruce said as he looked over his friend while Tony lay on the middle of the floor, teeth gritted as he tried to fight through the pain.

“Tell me something I didn’t already know,” Tony ground out as he did his best to keep from worrying his friends over just how bad it was.

Bucky was right at Tony’s side taking the genius’s left hand between his own to give his boyfriend something to squeeze and focus on as Bruce felt around the rest of Tony’s body looking for any other areas that would need attention once they got back to the tower and could get him to the medical wing. There wasn’t much that he could actually do to help Tony right now and that was eating Bucky up inside. Hydra had trained him on the best ways to kill someone, not how to help them heal if they were hurt. The strong survived and the weak were disposed of. That was just the way things were and Bucky hated it even more than he normally did right now when it left him useless and unable to help his boyfriend when he so obviously needed some comfort.

“I can give you something to help numb the pain until we can get back to the tower and have Dr. Cho take a better look and reset the bone,” Bruce told Tony as he reached into the extensive first aid kit they kept on the jet and pulled out a vial of pain medicine and a needle.

Bucky’s eyes zeroed in on the needle and his hands squeezed Tony’s just a little bit tighter as his breathing hitched. It was such a little thing but that didn’t mean anything to the tiny part of his brain that was screaming that nothing good came from needles and the contents inside of them. All of Bucky’s instincts in that moment were demanding that he grab the needle from Bruce and throw it as far away from his injured lover as he could. There was nothing good that could come from it and he had to protect Tony while he was hurt and unable to protect himself.

Bucky was brought out of his haze of fear when he heard Tony croak out, “Yeah that would actually be amazing right about now. Drug me up Doc.”

With Tony’s consent Bruce was quick to insert the needle into Tony’s leg and press the plunger down sending the painkillers straight into Tony’s bloodstream to start dulling the agony that he was currently in. The only thing that kept Bucky rooted in place instead of stopping Bruce was Tony’s agreement to the procedure. Had Tony disagreed or not even acknowledged what Bruce wanted to do than Bucky wasn’t sure that he would have been able to stop himself from tackling the doctor which could have turned a bad situation even worse with a potential Hulk incident on the jet in the middle of the air. No one would have walked away from that without even more injury than they already had.

Taking deep breaths Bucky was able to pull himself back together and focus on the man in front of him and what he would need in order to get through this ordeal as painlessly as was even possible. Squeezing Tony’s hands between his own Bucky got his boyfriend’s attention.

“I’m right here for you Doll. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere,” Bucky promised.

Tony nodded his head rapidly, teeth gritted together and squeezing Bucky’s hand in return. This wasn’t the first time that he’d received broken bones and given his line of work it probably wouldn’t be the last. That didn’t make the process hurt any less and he had no qualms in admitting that breaking his femur was probably one of the worst cases of broken bones that he had ever experienced.

“Let’s just hope that Bruce’s drugs work quick cause I’ve got to say, this isn’t the fun that I wasn’t promised when I started this whole superhero gig,” Tony tried joking though the tears in the corner of his eyes and the catch in his voice made it fall flat.

Bucky tried smiling back though he wasn’t sure how well it turned out. “Well how about I personally thank you for everything that you’ve done superheroing once we get you back home huh?”

“No sex until I’ve gotten that leg stabilized and its had time to help up some,” Bruce interjected quickly.

While Tony might not have been in the mood right than to do anything more than clutch at Bucky’s hand Bruce knew the history Tony had with staying on bedrest after getting hurt and wanted to cut off that avenue of trying to wiggle out of resting before he even had the chance to taking it.

“Ah Brucie, such a spoil sport,” Tony quipped.

That was how the rest of the flight back to the tower went. Each of them taking turns to try and keep Tony’s mind off of the pain of his injury until they could get it seen to properly. When they reached the tower the medical team was already waiting with a gurney to get Tony down to the medical wing to start getting his injuries seen to. Bucky had wanted to stay by Tony’s side and go with him by Dr. Cho had been insistent that he would only be in the way as they worked on the genius and that he should get his own injuries cleaned up first. By the time he was done they should be ready for him to see Tony again with risk of compromising his treatment.

Bucky hadn’t liked that answer but hadn’t been able to argue the fact since it was in Tony’s best interest and Steve had firmly taken hold of him and dragged him away not giving him a choice in the matter if he didn’t want to start a whole new fight in the medical wing.

By the time Bucky was allowed to go see Tony a few hours later the genius had been moved to a private room to recover in until Dr. Cho was ready to release him to his own floor and outside of her authority. When he walked into Tony’s room Bucky was brought up short at the sight of Tony laying on the bed.

It wasn’t that Bucky had thought that Dr. Cho would be able to completely heal his boyfriend even with the technology like the cradle that she had access to but he hadn’t expected to see Tony still so obviously hurt and in pain.

Laying on the bed with only a thin hospital gown to cover him, Tony looked like he had been put through the ringer and lost. His skin was a sickly pale color and his right leg had being held immobilized with multiple rods sticking out of his thigh obvious holding the healing bone in place. A needle stuck out of the back of his left hand sending IV fluids, antibiotics, and pain medicine into him in order to try and keep him comfortable and healing his healing. All in all he looked very battered from the fight and desperately in need of comfort and Bucky couldn’t seem to make himself step one foot closer.

As much as he wanted to be by Tony’s side, holding his hand and telling his boyfriend that everything was going to be okay, Bucky just couldn’t tear his eyes away from the rods and needle and the overwhelming sense of fear and danger they sent coursing through his body. Logically he knew that what he was feeling was irrational but that didn’t change the rush of adrenaline that was telling him to run, run now and run fast.

Before Bucky could force himself to either turn tail and run like his body wanted him to do or get over himself and go to his boyfriend, Tony’s eyes opened up and caught him still standing there in the doorway.

“Hey Snowflake,” Tony croaked, throat obviously raw from holding back his screams of pain earlier. “They got you all patched from those vicious chickens I see.”

Bucky just gave a short, sharp nod of acknowledgement, his eyes still rooted to the needle in Tony’s hand.

Tony’s brow creased in confusion as Bucky was unable to meet his eyes and didn’t respond to the gentle tease. Something was clearly wrong and even if he couldn’t get out of bed at the moment Tony was determined to figure out what it was and help his boyfriend.

“Bucky, Sweetheart, look at me please. What’s wrong babe?” Tony asked coaxingly. “Talk to me. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

For a moment Bucky continued to just stand there without responding before closing his eyes and taking a shuddering breath.

“Hydra,” he stuttered out. “They used to strap me down and inject me with stuff. It started when Hydra first got a hold of me and they gave me the serum in the first place. That’s the only reason I survived that fall back when Steve thought I died. After that they gave me more injections to make sure that the changes took since they weren’t working with the original serum. Once they had me turned into their Asset it still didn’t stop. Instead it was trying out different poisons to see how I’d react or taking samples of my blood to try and recreate the serum to make more Assets.

“I know that it’s stupid. It’s just one tiny little needle. It can’t hurt me. All it’s doing is helping you so you aren’t in so much pain. It’s not even being used on me but all I can think about is either running away like a damn coward or ripping it out of your hand and chucking it out the window so it can’t hurt either of us.”

By the time he was done Bucky was practically panting from getting that all off of his chest. The look in his eyes when he met Tony’s was one of desperation. Desperation to be understood. Desperation for his boyfriend not to think him a coward over such a minor thing even though he obviously was one. Desperation for Tony to still love him anyway even with his stupid fear.

Tony could feel his heart break from the pain that his lover was in. All he wanted to do in that moment was to hold Bucky close, tell him that it was okay to have seemingly irrational fears like that, and that everything was going to be okay. As much as Tony wanted to do that he couldn’t. He was stuck in the bed unable to walk and the thing causing Bucky so much fear was sticking right out of his hand in the first place.

“Bucky look at me. Eyes on my face now Snowflake,” Tony ordered with as much force and conviction as he could manage. “Here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to head on up to our bedroom, curl up under that nice soft blanket I got you for Valentine’s Day, and then you’re going to call me on the phone. I want to make sure that you’re okay. You want to be sure I’m okay. None of that is going to happen if you’re here in this room with me.”

Bucky shook his head stubbornly and forced himself to take a shakey step into the room and closer to both Tony and the needle.

“Stop,” Tony ordered firmly from the bed when he saw Bucky gearing himself up to take another step closer. “Stop Sweetheart. Not like this. I swear to you if you keep forcing yourself like this I will rip this IV right out of my hand, I don’t care what the doctor says. I’m not making you come in here when you’re scared to death about it. Please don’t make me do that to you.”

It was the anguish and desperation in Tony’s voice that got through to Bucky and stopped him where he stood. He still wanted nothing more than to be with Tony and to help him feel better however he could but at the same time he knew that Tony was right. Even if he did make it to the bedside he would be more focused on the needle and being so close to it that he wouldn’t have been any comfort to his injured boyfriend and would instead be the one receiving comfort because even as hurt as Tony was, the man didn’t know how to not take care of the people that he loved when they were scared or hurting.

“Okay,” Bucky hesitantly agreed as he backed towards the doorway again. “Okay, you win. I’ll have Jarvis pull up a video chat from our room. Just keep that in. I don’t want you hurting when you don’t have to be just ‘cause of me.”

Just as he was walking out Bucky paused right in the doorway and turned back to face Tony, lower lip caught between his teeth as he warred with a thought in his head that wouldn’t let him leave without voicing it but at the same time not wanting to sound completely paranoid. The need to make sure that Tony was safe even here in his fortress of a tower won out over sounding paranoid.

“You’re sure it’s just painkillers in there right?” Bucky questioned, needing to know that no one was slipping something into Tony’s IV that would hurt him like Hydra had done to the soldier.

Tony’s face softened knowing exactly what was worrying his lover. “I’m sure. I watched Dr. Cho set it up myself. Nothing’s in there that isn’t supposed to be. I promise.”

Bucky nodded jerkily and took another step backwards. “Okay. Good. Okay. I’ll just go up to our room then and call you. You call me if you need me for anything okay. Promise me. If you need me I’ll be right here for you Doll I swear I will.”

“I promise,” Tony said, meaning it though knowing it would be an absolute last resort.

With one last look at his boyfriend Bucky turned around and sprinted up to their room so that he could get Jarvis to start a video chat between them as soon as possible and he could check in with his lover properly. It left a sour taste in his mouth that because of a stupid fear leftover from his time with Hydra he couldn’t be there in person.

When this was all over Bucky was determined to find a way to get rid of his fear so that it would be one less thing for Hydra to still have control over him and he wouldn’t be kept from Tony for something like this again but for now he would focus on the task at hand. This was still a way he could do what he needed to do and he wasn’t about to waste another moment worrying about what he couldn’t yet accomplish.


End file.
